Harrison Hills ^{Baptist Church}

Hi Brothers,  I have you on my mind as we head into 2012.  This is so because I am a man and I know the challenges that men face in being the spiritual leader in their homes (and the opportunities!).  I have you on my mind because I know that in God’s design for husbands, as husbands go (spiritually speaking), in a very real sense, so goes the wife (and the family, and the church).  Genesis 1 and 2 establish that reality.  Sadly, when we get to Genesis 3, we see God’s design take a massive missile strike.  Genesis 3 teaches us that God’s love created man and woman with the ability to say no to God.  By creating man and woman with that sort of freedom, God’s love risked having His best plans for them be rejected – and that’s what happened.  You know the story, so I won’t recount it except to share the missile strike: 

So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. (Gen 3.6)This horrible moment in history shows us the origin of sin, and it has impacted every son and daughter of Adam and Eve. (Rom 3.23, Is 53.6)  The origin of sin is the main theological implication from Gen 3.6. 

A secondary and crucial implication comes from Adam’s complicity in Eve’s sin.  God treated Adam’s sin with the same contempt that He treated Eve’s sin: they both sinned before God and would bear the penalty of their sin. (Gen 3.16-19)  Yet, as we read on in Genesis 3, God held Adam as the one who bore the greater responsibility.  (This does not excuse Eve for her sin, but it does establish the priority of responsibility for the husband.) 

The account of sin and punishment in Genesis 3 puts forward some very helpful teaching for husbands who are followers of Jesus.  We are right to refer to those lessons in the language of leadership – the Bible teaches that husbands are to lead in the home (in cooperation with, and support from, their wives).  In the man’s leadership pyramid, spiritual leadership in the home takes top billing.  As we head into 2012, I wanted to share several lessons we can draw from Genesis 3 about being an effective spiritual leader in our marriages – especially with regard to preventing sin.  The account shows us at least 3 ways that Adam failed in his leadership.       

1. Adam was not visible – he was present at the temptation, but he did not prevent the sin           
2. Adam was not vocal – he was aware of the situation, but he remained silent     
3. Adam was not valiant – he was a passive participant instead of being an active protector

More could be said about the lack of involvement on Adam’s part, but I think those 3 ways capture the major areas of failure.  Now, let me share 3 principles that should help you in your desire to provide effective leadership for your wife.  Let’s capture these principles with the three words I used above: visible;  vocal; valiant.

1. Husbands lead their wives well when they do all they can to be prevent temptation from sliding into sin.  Being “present” is not enough, we must also be “visible” (by that I mean our engagement should be evident).  (I note that we cannot always be there when our wives face temptation, so we must equip them to recognize and resist temptation through intentional & consistent spiritual leadership in the home.) 
2. Husbands lead their wives well by speaking for them when their wives are asked questions they should not answer.  Being “aware” is not enough, we must also be “vocal” (ready to speak up, even at the risk of being seen as being rude or intrusive)
3. Husbands lead their wives well by standing in front of their wives when temptation approaches – not beside or behind.  Being “passive” is not acceptable, we must also be “valiant” (we must be ready to take the blow of temptation, absorb it’s threat, and shield our wives)

I would note that in some homes, for various reasons, the wife is “spiritually stronger” (been a Christian longer, been more faithful in discipleship, etc.).    Having a wife who is spiritually stronger is no reason for the husband to step aside when temptation comes.  He should be in front, ready to absorb the blow, while she stands at his side to assist – to counsel and strengthen.  God designed the marriage partnership to fight temptation together, but the husband is called to be out front, ready to fend off the attack.  Here are a few additional thoughts for your consideration:     

Be visible: be engaged in the spiritual leadership in your home, so that your wife knows that you are ready to help her fight temptation, so that she will gladly come to you for counsel and courage.     

Be vocal: (this may be the hardest of the three for most of us).  Brothers, our wives know us well and can often anticipate how we will think about things.  Don’t leave them to their thoughts when it comes to how you might feel about a situation that would bring temptation into their lives.  Speak up!  Remove any assumptions or doubt or confusion about how you would think and act with regard to what she might be facing.  Adam was silent and his wife fell.  Be vocal with your wife in order to guard her against the fiery darts of the enemy’s empty promises and lies.     

Be valiant: every one of us would willingly die to protect our wives from physical harm.  We must adopt that same spirit of bravery to protect our ladies from spiritual harm.  Be intentional to spend time with her, specifically thinking and talking about spiritual matters; discuss what you are learning from the Bible and how you are fighting temptation in your own life (let her tell you about her discoveries and efforts).  Sometimes our wives will not be ready or willing to hear from us.  We must risk patient, kind, and loving confrontation on that front if we would be brave to protect our wives.  We must be careful not to force our will upon them, but that will be a rare possibility.  I am convinced that as we are brave and bold in our leadership, our wives will honor our bravery and will welcome our boldness as temptation approaches. 

Brothers, the latter part of Ephesians 5 presses upon us the high calling and grave responsibility to love our wives as Jesus loved the church.  The chief objective of our wife-love is to sanctify our wives; to lead them in a way that we can present them spotless & blameless before God – that is a call to spiritual leadership that needs to be visible, vocal and valiant.  In God’s sovereign will, we sometimes learn the best lessons from negative examples.  That’s the opportunity that Genesis 3 offers.  Learn well, brothers, so that we might live well before God, and love our wives well for their good, and for our good, and for the glory of our great God.

Men, I look forward to seeing how you might embrace these and other lessons from God’s word for your (and your family’s) spiritual gain in 2012.  I will be praying for each of you, and I stand ready to support and encourage you in any way that  would be helpful. 

In fact, I am learning with you, so that we might live as fellow leaders and protectors against temptation, and love our wives well for the glory of God and for the sake of the gospel. 

Pastor Gary